Dear Ms. Q,
My boyfriend and I were watching porn the other day and saw a guy fisting a girl. My boyfriend thought it was hot and said it was something he always wanted to do. I said, “No.” I couldn’t imagine something like that feeling good and the girl in the video looked like she was in pain.
He’s been talking about fisting ever since. I’m still not sure if it’s a good idea but wanted to get your opinion. What do you think?
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No-No Nancy
I’ve been vaginally fisted a few times, but I searched for some credible medical and scientific-based websites for safety tips and suggested techniques and couldn’t find any. You’d think that some experts would have weighed in on this subject by now.
I would say it’s worth trying but with these caveats:
• Make sure that he takes his time – one finger, then two, three, four, five and then the rest of his hand. Vaginal muscles expand and become more elastic and expand in length and width during sexual arousal.
• Have him use lube. Lots of it.
• I’ve never been aroused by fisting alone, but playing with your clitoris can help expand your vaginal muscles and help keep you naturally lubricated and aroused.
• Have him start out by being gentle and not rush or be too aggressive. Just because a guy or woman in a porn video is immediately plowing their hand in and out of a woman’s vagina doesn’t mean it’s possible or enjoyable for everyone. Remember that you don’t know what’s been edited for the sake of arousal or effect in a porn video.
• Make sure that his nails are trimmed and filed and that his hands are clean. Vaginal tears are painful and infections are not sexy. Plus, it’s not fun to be out of commission.
• If you feel pain or discomfort at any time, make sure that he stops. Sex should be enjoyable for both of you. Assure him that not being able to get his hand inside your vagina doesn’t mean that he has failed. Every woman’s vagina is different and most men’s hands can be too large. Remember, a man’s hand is a lot bigger than an erect penis.
• One trick to get all five fingers into a vagina is to surround the thumb around four fingers. This will also help narrow the size of his hand.
You may find that vaginal fisting will be a big turn-on for you or you might share his joy and excitement in doing something he’s never done before. You won’t know unless you try.
Ms. Q
Got a question for me? Email me at msquote2(at)hotmail(dot)com.