Often I have patients who have trouble having orgasms. Sometimes they are women who are going through menopause or are getting older and they’re just having a harder time “getting there.” Sometimes they are women who always just had a harder time reaching orgasm. Either way, a vibrator makes their life wayyyyy easier and often gives them stronger orgasms.
“Okay then,” I say. “So you use the vibrator when you’re having sex with your partner, right?” Hun? They looks at me kind of blankly. Apparently, it never occurred to them.
So here’s some advice: If you are in that category of women, USE THE VIBRATOR WHEN YOU’RE HAVING SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER. It will make the sex more fun, less stressful (no more worry,) your partner won’t have to “work so hard,” you won’t feel so guilty for making your partner “work so hard,” and your orgasms will probably be stronger.
And please, please don’t tell me that a vibrator is “unnatural.” Phooey! So is the electric light bulb. We don’t live our lives by candlelight in an attempt to “remain natural.” Do yourself a favor…USE THE VIBRATOR IF YOU LIKE IT. There is nothing wrong with you!!
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Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is a certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health, one of the largest centers for women’s sexual health in the country. Dr. Marcus wrote her dissertation on women and vibrator use while earning her Doctor of Philosophy in human sexuality from the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She also has a Master’s in public health from the same institution. She is a licensed social worker with a Master’s degree from Columbia University. Dr. Marcus has worked as the executive director of not-for-profit institutions and corporations, medical practices and laboratories. In addition to being featured in a NY Times article, she is a frequent guest on radio, podcasts and has lectured both nationally and overseas on a wide variety of women's issues.